work lunch at Chili's

xxxx: you know what i hate at work
is when i answer kind of random questions about stuff
then people go OMG XXXX KNOWS EVERYTHING
ASK HIM ANYTHING
me: hahaha

example
xxxx: well i usually just cut the person off and say stop it stop it stop it
but one time we were at chilis
me: tell them to shut the front door
xxxx: you know, just eatin
and a song came on
and everyone was like who is this?
and i was like oh its ryan adams
and their minds were blown

xxxx: so of course the rest of the lunch was WHO IS THIS XXXX???

supreme freak out

xxxx: ALLISON
COME BACK
NOW
xxxx: ALLISON

I NEED UR HELP NOW

me: OK LINK

xxxx: http://www.supremenewyork.com/shop/268?style=923

me: what one

oh

thats it?

xxxx: RED

me: thats all?

xxxx: wait hang on

let me make sure

xxxx: yes

me: wtf

xxxx: red

me: k done

im the best
...
xxxx: man i had such a freak out

theres a guy here who likes supreme

and i was talking to him showing him what i got

and i showed him the decks and it didnt say sold out

i was like fuck. ill be back
me: hahaha

2 freak outs in one day

impressive

xxxx: ugh

not good for my clogged heart

me: stop eating so many peps

xxxx: ha

heart disease

dirty floors

xxxx: dont like our kitchen

its no good

you know that

we've been over that a lot

me: you dont need a good kitchen for that though

xxxx: i just dont feel comfortable in that one

me: that's weird

xxxx: why

me: i dont understand how you could not

its yours

everything in there is yours

the appliances arent awful

xxxx: the floor

me: so you dont cook because of the floor

xxxx: i feel dirty in there

me: because the floor is dirty
xxxx: yes

dead roosters

xxxx: someone dumped a dead rooster outside our office

me: wtf

in the street?

when

xxxx: i dunno

me: weird

did you call animal cops

xxxx: nah

me: just left it there
xxxx: yeah nbd

fancy food

xxxx: are there like fancy pb&j

me: probably

xxxx: wonder if theyre any good

and you wont die from them

me: why wouldn't they be good?

xxxx: i dunno

i dont like the J that much sometimes

me: so don't use it

xxxx: just a peanut butter sandwich

me: honey

banana

granola

xxxx: hm

granola wtf

Sent at 1:57 PM on Friday

me: why not

xxxx: thats not a spread

me: neither is banana

be more creative

xxxx: hm

me: dont be such a square

xxxx: iam such one L7

tough decisions

xxxx: ok so how about this one

i still have some pizza left

but i have some chicken that i got on monday i think

what do i do

WHAT DO I DO

me: freeze chicken

xxxx: no freezer bags
me: omg

xxxx: what

listen

these are things i need to know

to make me a better person

me: right

Sent at 1:19 PM on Thursday

xxxx: ok so how do i do it

Sent at 1:27 PM on Thursday

me: how do you do what

Sent at 1:30 PM on Thursday

me: brb

Sent at 1:32 PM on Thursday

me: ok

Sent at 1:54 PM on Thursday

xxxx: ok

so how do i do it

me: do what

xxxx: ugh

freeze without a freezer bag

me: why dont you go buy freezer bags to tide you over

xxxx: maybe

ill think about it for awhile

then i can get some chicken or steak at the same time right

me: i guess?

xxxx: consolidate my trips

Sent at 1:58 PM on Thursday

me: streamline

grilled cheese

[notice the time stamps. it was a much longer conversation than what is here.]

xxxx: how do you make panini

me: without a panini press?

8:50 AM xxxx: oh you need one?

me: nah

make a sandwich on sturdy bread, lightly butter or brush olive oil on the outside

put it in a skillet and then put a skillet on top weighed down with cans so it flatens it

then flip it and resquish it

8:52 AM xxxx: hm ok

whats good to put on them

8:53 AM does mozzarella make good grilled cheese cheese

me: i dont think fresh does.

……

me: you should make a pastrami and provolone or munster

8:55 AM xxxx: whats munster

me: its good

its really mild and not obtrusive

its the kind that has the orange edges

xxxx: hm

i like swiss

moz

me: you'd like munster

xxxx: swiss is pretty bitter sometimes

me: k so make a pastrami and swiss panini

its too hard

xxxx: it doesnt melt really

8:56 AM me: yea

use provolone

or munster

both melt really well

xxxx: not sure if i know provolone

do i put the skillet on med

me: put cheese, meat, cheese so it glues it together

8:57 AM depends on how thick the sammy is. probably med-low to make sure it doesnt burn

provolone is a white cheese. its really mild in flavor and melts well

8:58 AM xxxx: k

do these work well cold?

me: paninis? probs not

but you could make a sammy and not cook it

and it would be good

8:59 AM make sure you use sturdy bread like a roll or something

xxxx: hm

i dont like buying bread because i never eat it fast enough

9:00 AM me: buy 6 or 8 rolls and freeze half

then unfreeze them when you know you'll make sammies for a few more days

they wont matter if they're a little freezer burned because you'll be cooking them

xxxx: is there a specific bread for panini

9:01 AM me: nah

xxxx: what about ciabatta

me: yea that'd be fine it hink

…….

xxxx: whats a good grilled cheese cheese

9:02 AM me: munster, provolone, cheddar, moz

xxxx: ew @ chedder

me: really?

xxxx: yeah i dont like it

me: ok

9:03 AM mix munster and moz

xxxx: k

9:05 AM where do i get this stuff

9:06 AM me: safeway

whole foods

xxxx: you can buy kind of singles stuff of this stuff?

9:07 AM me: well if you go to the deli you can buy small portions of cheese and meat

xxxx: like i dont want to buy packs of 8s for bread

me: then just get a loaf of bread

why

if you get ciabatta you can buy one bigone and just cut off some

xxxx: ive never finished a loaf of bread in my life

9:31 AM me: got everything figured out?

ready to make a sandwich

9:37 AM xxxx: yeah we'll see about that

how long do you cook it for

9:38 AM me: until its lightly brown and melty

probably 5-8m per side if its on lowish heat

xxxx: k

me: if its too hot the outside will burn before the cheese even gets warm

xxxx: yeah

9:44 AM me: k good

an hour talk about how to make a grilled cheese

9:47 AM xxxx: i dont think im done yet either

i think there are fancy ways to make the GC

me: like what

i put crushed red pepper and veggies in mine

xxxx: k thats fancy

i guess if you just use expensive cheese right

me: yea i guess

xxxx: im going to look it up at lunch

me: look up fancy ones?

9:48 AM you could make a brie one and put apples or pears in it

xxxx: good gc cheeses

meh

i dont like pears

thats too much like a breakfast crepe

10:56 AM xxxx: if i went grocery shopping at lunch, would it be ok to leave the stuff in my car the rest of the day

me: dont leave the cheese and meat in the car

dont you have a fridge at work you could put it in

10:57 AM xxxx: you think itd go bad in 4hrs?\

me: i wouldnt do it

12:36 PM xxxx: listen

so how much meat and cheese should i get

12:37 PM me: wow. an all day conversation

are you going to the deli or buying a pre-pack thing

buy a prepack thing

xxxx: ew no prepack

12:38 PM me: why?

get a block of cheese

it will stay good for a long time

xxxx: oh a block ok

not slices

12:39 PM me: yea. get a block of munster. i think its like $3 not on sale if you get the safeway brand

……

xxxx: k

and should i get multiple breads

12:52 PM me: nope

you cant finish a loaf, why would you get multiple

xxxx: i dunno

12:53 PM ok so for the cheese, the munster and prov will be good for grilled?

grilled cheese

me: yes they will both be good for that

for GC and panini

xxxx: k

me: you could get a block of each or just get one kind

12:54 PM xxxx: k

12:55 PM me: what kind of bread are you getting

xxxx: ciabatta

12:57 PM me: ooh la la

.....

streamline

xxxx: cooking is pretty easy

i just dont like bringing my food all the way to the front room

you know

me: wut

xxxx: i dont like bringing food and drinks and stuff from the kitchen to the front room

me: why

xxxx: cus

its a pain

me: no its not

xxxx: cus then i have to bring it all the way back

and im a baby

leave me alone

me: are you trying to blow my mind

xxxx: how far do you walk to eat

me: well i'll probably walk for about 10m round trip to lunch

xxxx: wtf

no in your house

me: you've seen my house

i eat on the couch

xxxx: k so you dont walk as far as me

id rather eat at a table

i guess i could

me: isnt it the same distance

xxxx: yeah

i mean closer

me: youre blowing my mind

how are you so lazy

xxxx: i dunno it just kills the ease of it all

i like things streamlined

me: hm

so cookings easy, eh

xxxx: yeah

just streamline it

me: streamline cooking?

xxxx: yeah

me: how

xxxx: i dunno just do everything really procedurally

i mean thats what the recipe is for

dont let things get out of hand

do the dishes as they come up

me: right

xxxx: the only thing i cant wrap my head around is the groceries

because i dont want to buy too much and then have them sitting around

and at the same time i dont want to go to the store

i hate the store

me: so plan ahead

plan 3 meals a week

and buy those ingredients

cook something first that is most time sensitive

xxxx: but at the same time i dont like to plan that far ahead

because what if people are like oh lets go out to eat tonight

me: thats what refirdgerators are for

xxxx: then thing sit there forevverrrr

me: NO

they sit there til the next day

xxxx: then what if someone else is like oh lets go out to eat tonight

me: then you say no

i have food at home

xxxx: hm

freezer bags

XXX: do you use freezer bags

me: for what

XXX: you know freezing stuff

me: not usually

i have a bag in the freezer of dead bananas

that are peeled and ready for smoothies or baking

but everything else i usually just use tuperware i guess

like for enchilada sauce or something

XXX: hm

oh you dont get chicken and stuff

duh

me: yea

i think if i did, i would use them though

XXX: k

i should get some off of amazon

me: wtf

go to target

XXX: nah that involves going all the way across town

hassle

me: get other stuff there

XXX: nah

me: youre crazy

get it at safeway

XXX: i bet theyre cheaper on amazon

me: what if theyre not

XXX: why would they not be

me: sales

XXX: not in the big boxes like amazon

amazon is like costco

me: why do you need big boxes

if you dont even own them now

XXX: so i dont have to buy them again

because theyre not reusable

are they

me: i know people who reuse them

just wash them and let them dry inside out

XXX: even with chicken

sounds dangerous

me: i dont know

i think they reuse them for fruits and herbs

things like that

XXX: that makes more sense

me: k

A little background

At work I use gchat, most of the day I can be found here, along with a few of my friends. My one friend, who will/might remain nameless, says, asks and comes up with the silliest, dumbest, laziest things I have ever heard. This is a blog dedicated to how much he makes my head explode.